Frieza:Totally Owned
by glittergirl73
Summary: Written for Wisteria22's self-insert challenge. References to her story "The Real DBZ". Glitter finds herself in HFIL. While thinking of how she got herself there, a certain villan crosses her path. T for language. Full summary inside A/N.


**_A/N: This little story was submitted as part of Wisteria22's self-insert challenge she gave in her story _"The Real DBZ" _There is a heck of a lot of reference to her story in mine beacause it is just that amazing! Please read it, if you like mine even a little bit, you'll love hers._**

**_Full Synopsis:_**_ Buu is running a muck and Goku and Vegeta work to stop him. Meanwhile, as one of the inhabitants that had been turned to candy and eaten, Glitter finds herself in HFIL. While contemplating how she managed to end up there, a certain DBZ villan in tacky lipstick happens to cross her path._

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><p><em>Well this place is freaking lovely! How did I get myself into this mess?<em> Glitter thought as she plopped down on a rock in HFIL. Poor Glitter just happened to be shopping at her favorite makeup store which just happened to be in a city that Majin Buu just happened to eat!

Glitter ended up standing in line at the check-in station for 6 hours just to find out she was being sent to HFIL! King Yemma wouldn't even tell her what she did that was so bad because he insisted that he was "terribly busy", which Glitter figured was big talk for someone who sits on his ass and stamps papers all day. Glitter ran her fingers through her mass of curly brown hair and started to think back to all the bad things she'd done. _Well there was that one time Jackie and I put twelve bottles of bubble bath in the fountain at the mall when we were nine. No, that isn't so bad. It was just a childish prank after all! It _was_ a ton of fun watching that rent-a-cop flop around in the bubbles when he slipped, though! Oh! There's the time I pushed Mindy Renolds down the stairs at school and broke her nose. But, that one wasn't really my fault was it? The little bitch put her gum in my hair! Hmm… oh I know! This has got to be about "The Real DBZ". Jackie and I spent HOURS thinking of torture methods. I still don't know where she's been finding those video clips though. On second thought, I don't want to know._

As Glitter continued to think over her slightly evil (and completely hilarious) past, a figure flew overhead, completely unnoticed. The being stopped when he…she…it…um…I can't tell, saw Glitter sitting down on a rock. The being smirked and landed right in front of Glitter, who was too lost in her memories to notice.

"And who are you?" the being asked with an attitude. Glitter gave no answer though; she was still lost in her own zone.

"Excuse me?" It tried again, when the being received no answer, It became infuriated.

"Ehhehhemmm!"

"Dude take a freaking cough drop!" Glitter yelled as she looked up to see the source of the noise that interrupted her reminiscing. Imagine her surprise when she saw the one and only Lord Frieza standing before her. Well, are you imagining it? I bet you are. I bet it's blowing your mind. Anyway, Glitter was astonished to see 4th form Frieza standing in her presence. An expression of pure shock crossed her face, which Frieza assumed meant she was terrified.

"Oh, my, Dende…"

Frieza smirked triumphantly and was about to start talking about how incredibly terrifying he was when Glitter finished her sentence.

"…you look even more like a drag queen in person!"

Glitter fell off her rock in a mad fit of hysterical laughter. Frieza prepped a small ki blast in his palm.

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME? FOR THAT YOU WILL DIE YOU FILTHY HUMAN!"

Glitter managed to stop laughing and pick herself up off the ground. She walked right up to Frieza and swatted his wrist. The ki blast went flying into the distance, and blew the top off a small mountain.

"For your information hot shot, I'm already dead. Feel free to kill me as many times as you want, I'll still end up right here, laughing in your face."

"How dare you speak to me this way you wench!"

"Wow, you really need to pull your thong out of your ass!"

"Who do you think you are anyway?"

"I'm Glitter, a good friend of Jackie Tanner-"

Upon hearing Jackie's name Frieza shrieked like a school girl and dived behind a large rock.

"Y-you, you're friends with that-that SHE BEAST!"

"Yeah, I take it you're not too fond of her. Well I can't really blame you; she can be very intimidating when she wants to. She's also great at finding out people's dirty secrets. You know I think she'd make a great detective one day! What do you think?"

"I don't care! What has she been planning lately? Wait, is she down here too?"

Frieza ducked farther down behind his rock and cowered at the thought of seeing Jackie Tanner again. Upon seeing this, a wave of divine inspiration struck Glitter like a bolt of lightning.

"Of course, there's no doubt that big pink blob has turned everyone into candy by now. If I was bad enough to earn myself a one way ticket to HFIL, there's no question that Jackie did too."

"Ahh! Where is she?"

"Well I told her to meet me here like an hour ago, so she should be arriving soon."

"Ahhhhhh! I'm getting the fuck out of here!"

Frieza flew off at full speed to get as far away from Glitter as he could. He wouldn't be bothering her anymore.

_Well someone's got a potty mouth! _Glitter thought as she sat back down on her rock.

"Huh, I guess that counts as a good reason to be in HFIL. Well, that's just the price I pay for being a freaking genius!"

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><p><em><strong>Did you like it? Well click that little link down there and tell me so! Also PLEASE read "The Real DBZ" I promise you won't be disappointed!<strong>_


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